These past three weeks have been hard. Covid-19 is back on the rise, and things are going backward. I watched as many of my church members came down with the virus. Then, the other church that we frequent soon followed, and just like that, we were back to virtual church.

Last year, it meant everything to me that my D-Group leader and church pastor stuck with me. As my group members dropped off one by one until the two of us left, it became clear that something was happening. My D-Group leader could have given up on me and the group, but he didn’t. That experience changed my faith, and for that matter, it changed my life.

Leadership in any form is complex. As a newly married man to a ready-made family, I am certainly learning the leadership that comes with it. Nothing is better than seeing little bits of my personality already taking shape among my 12-year-old stepdaughter and 10-year-old stepson. The oldest is 18 and has long been his own man. I still hope that, in some way, I’ve made a mark on him as well.

This year, it has been my turn to lead a D-Group bible study. At the end of last year, I thought there would be no way I could get anyone to commit to what was needed in a group like this. Sometimes, we reserve to things before we know what we are committing to. I didn’t realize how difficult this type of thing would be when I decided to join last year. All I knew was that I desired a deeper relationship with God and wanted to know Jesus in a way I never had before.

In the beginning, I had no idea what to do because it was so challenging to get the guys to be available each week for our meetings, and much like my group last year, they began to drop out one by one until there was only one left. I remember telling my wife that I was doing this all for nothing. I remember telling her that I wanted to give up. I can still hear her voice when I told her that. She said to me, “Well, that’s exactly what the Devil wants you to do is to give up.” She told me to pray about it, which I did. Something seems to happen when my wife tells me to pray. It’s different than other times when I pray. I can’t explain it, but I love it. The moment I realized this to be true, I made a mental note in my mind. If that mental note were an actual physical note in my head, it would read like this: “Adam, when your wife tells you to pray, you stop what you’re doing, and you pray!”

When I prayed about wanting to give up, within a few days, God answered my prayer. Instead of seeing people drop out of my group, I had people wanting to know if they could join. The group whittled down to just one and became a new group of five. We all came together and bonded very quickly, and we are now on our twentieth week of bible study.

COVID and life have tried to keep us back to that feeling of wanting to give up. However, I am reminded that my pastor did not give up on me. I am reminded that these things will happen and that the result is the greater reward—the reward of fellowship, the reward of helping someone come to know Jesus better. I have also realized that when we have that mission in the forefront of our minds and hearts, we draw closer to Him by doing His work.

I cannot imagine how Moses felt when tasked with going against Pharaoh and all of Egypt as God’s chosen leader.

I am reminded that the same God that took the Israelites out of Egypt and parted the Red Sea is the same God that leads me with this group.

I do not know why we let life get in our way. I am guilty of it, too. We all are sometimes.

I know that we need never to give up. We need to put our trust in the LORD, and the only way to have a relationship with Him is to do exactly that: have a relationship with Him.

 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

‭‭REVELATION‬ ‭3:20‬ ‭CSB‬‬

I love this verse and the thought that Jesus is always there waiting for us to open the door and let Him in.

I want to be a doer more than a hearer of God’s word. I sometimes don’t know how and fall short of God’s glory daily. I don’t know why society seems to be drawing a line in the sand between the doers and the hearers, but I know that we need more doers.