Fear

Barnabus Browning
Was scared of drowning,
So he never would swim
Or get into a boat
Or take a bath
Or cross a moat.
He just sat day and night
With his door locked tight
And the windows nailed down,
Shaking with fear
That a wave might appear,
And cried so many tears
That they filled up the room
And he drowned.

Fear - Shel Silverstein

As a kid, I always loved reading Shel Silverstein’s books, especially his poetry books A Light In The Attic and Where The Sidewalk Ends. I would read them over and over again and would laugh at the funny drawings on each page. They all seemed goofy and amusing to me, but there was one poem in particular that did not feel funny at all. It was a poem about a man named Barnabus Browning. For some reason, I could never forget that one. Barnabus Browning was scared of drowning. It seems essential, but I always found a deeper meaning in this simple poem. To not live in fear is a great motto in life. Even as a kid, I remember thinking about poor Barnabus. I remember thinking that he had it wrong. He was so scared of drowning that he failed to live his life. He was so afraid of drowning that he didn’t take chances. He was so profoundly full of fear that he sat and cried while the room that he locked himself inside was filled up with his tears, and he drowned. How terrible. How tragic. From the first time I read this poem, I knew I never wanted to be like poor Barnabus. I never wanted to live in fear.

Now, there are things that I’ll fear as long as I live: clowns, snakes, clowns with snakes, and clowns wearing shirts with snakes on them. Okay, pretty much any clown. I think you get the picture. I don’t like clowns, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I am talking about letting fear rule over my life. That is something I never want to allow.

2020 has been a challenging year. It has tested us in every possible way. I remember that Friday in March when Ashlie and I learned that the schools were closing due to COVID-19. I remember immediately getting in the car and going to Sam’s to buy food. No one knew what to expect, but what we saw was chaotic. It was a mad dash scramble for food. The toilet paper aisles were empty. I still don’t fully understand why toilet paper, of all things, was the first item to go. I remember feeling anxious, and I know that Ashlie did, too. I remember seeing the worried look on her face. I remember feeling that same sense of anxiousness and fear beginning to take hold of me. I grabbed and hugged her, and we stood in the middle of one of the aisles for a minute to calm down. It worked. We got our groceries and headed home.

By April, I was itching to get back in church and missing the ability to worship the way I have grown accustomed to. Our entire congregation was feeling the same way. There are some tragic events that I have lived through in my life. I will never forget where I was on 9-11. Sadly, it will be a day that none of us will ever forget. I will never forget last Easter Sunday when we were not allowed to attend church. I remember vowing that I’d never take the ability to worship in a church for granted again. I believe that worship can happen anywhere at any time, but something about worshiping in a sanctuary can’t be replicated or simulated.

The Great Divide

Our country has a more significant divide than I have ever seen or felt before. Christians are fighting with Christians over political views and about anything imaginable. Maybe it has always been this way, but it seems worse now than I remember. I know things get more heated during the political season than usual, but I don’t understand where the hatred and anger come from. If we all claim that Jesus is our life's ruler, then why aren’t we acting like it? I said “we” for a reason. We all are failing at reflecting the light that lives within us.

No matter how this election goes, the only throne that matters is the one God sits on. God is in control of it all, and He will direct as He sees fit. He’s so much bigger than any political party or president.

Fan or Follower

We watched a video in Sunday School yesterday that a pastor and author, Kyle Idleman, did as part of his Not A Fan book and study. The video was pretty harsh. It depicted a family having a family game night, and the dad suddenly, without warning, dying of a heart attack. In the video, Kyle comforted the family members and their friends. Each person Kyle spoke with seemed to be struggling with different things as they pertained to their loss. The video was very impactful because it made me think about how precious life is. When those things happen, we start thinking like that, but that feeling often fades. When bad things happen, we’ll say that life is too short, but we return to our regular routines soon after. At the end of the video, Kyle asked, “Are you a fan or a follower, as it pertains to following Christ?" It hit me hard. I wasn’t sure about my answer. I immediately thought I was a follower, but when I started to ask myself why I felt that way, I wasn’t coming up with good enough answers.

Are You A Barnabus?

Barnabus Browning was scared of everything, mainly drowning. He didn’t go outside. He didn’t live his life. Instead, he cried and lived in fear. I don’t know what Barnabus’s faith was, but what if someone had knocked on Barnabus’s door and decided to check on him? What if someone had called Barnabus and asked him to go out and get some coffee? What if that same person shared the Gospel with Barnabus while getting coffee? Maybe Barnabus would have gone home and opened up the Bible. Perhaps Barnabus would have trusted the LORD and realized he had nothing to fear. Maybe Barnabus would not have drowned in his room full of his fearful tears.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

Psalms 34:4 NIV

Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalms 23:4 NIV