US
She’s everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I talk about her. I go on and on and on
’Cause she’s everything to me
She’s Everything - Brad Paisley
I can't trust my memory to remember all the details when meaningful moments happen. We take photos and videos, make social media posts, and do many other things to preserve those priceless moments. The best way to ensure all essential details are noticed is by writing them down.
I've wanted to write down the story of Ashlie and me. Today is Wednesday. It is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving 2020. I will travel to Zwolle, LA, with my soon-to-be-official family tomorrow. Now, I am sitting here walking through it all in my head and asking myself, "How did I get here?"
This blog post has taken me so long to write. I began writing it on the Thanksgiving weekend of 2020.
It's January 2021, and we are eleven weeks away from our wedding! It is so hard to believe that we are so close. Getting to this point has been a fantastic adventure. God willing, we have a much longer story ahead of us!
Here Is Our Story So Far
They always say that the best things in life happen when we least expect them. People say that, but that doesn't mean I ever believed it.
After a nasty divorce, I was reluctant to return and re-enter the dating world. At least, that was what I was feeling on the inside. The truth is that I was relentless in my pursuit of meeting someone new. I created a profile on almost every dating site known at the time. I've never been one to shy away from online dating. Most of the dating sites were terrible, so I decided to try out Eharmony. I was on Eharmony.com for only one week when I met Ashlie. Upon discovering her profile, I wished I could tell you my first impression, but I can’t remember. I do remember loving her eyes in all of the real photos. I say "real photos" because I still don't understand why girls use Snapchat filters on dating pictures. I liked the images that were filter-free much better! I don't remember a single thing that her profile said. That was a good thing because I found out much later that one of her best girlfriends had created and written her profile for her. I am thankful that her friend knew her well enough and that the Eharmony algorithms that needed to match my profile with Ashlie's worked out the way they did. I think Jesus has algorithms of His own!
Ashlie asked me for my phone number first because her account was expiring, and she wanted to ensure we could still communicate. Thinking about it now, I realize how clever she was to get my number quickly! We took little time to exchange phone numbers, and soon after, we were texting one another frequently.
The Not A Date - Date
One Friday night almost three years ago, two former co-workers asked me to meet at a bar to listen to a band. That would be a perfect way to meet Ashlie for the first time. It wouldn't be a date, which would take all that dating pressure off of both of us. If you are reading this and need dating advice, let me tell you this: It's always a great idea to meet the girl you will potentially date while hanging out at a bar with two other women! (Please detect my sarcasm.)
Ashlie showed up late (something that I've learned is her style), and the band was already rocking. She immediately lit up the bar with a smile. She was beaming, tall, and beautiful. I was so happy! Oddly enough, there was zero awkwardness. It was like we had known each other for a very long time.
It did not take her long to tell me about all the amazing things God was doing in her life. I was hanging out at a concert on a Friday night, meeting a new girl for the first time, and she was talking to me about Jesus. I remember thinking in my head that there was no way that I would ever be good enough for her.
First time we met 1-13-2018 @ Tiki Bar.
The Celebrity Lounge
After hanging out at that place, we both had grown tired of that band, so we decided to go to one of our favorite places, The Celebrity Lounge. That night, there was a cover band playing called The After Party. They were so much fun. I remember realizing that night that Ashlie and I shared the same soul for music. She couldn't help but sing all the songs as loudly as she could, and neither could I. She also knew all the words; I knew most of them and would make up the rest as I often do. We ended up dancing and singing until the early morning.
The Marty McFly Kiss
Walking Ashlie to her car, I was super nervous. I didn't know what to do, but I wanted to show her that I liked her, so I did what any complete idiot would do, and I attempted the lamest, most awkward goodnight kiss in the history of goodnight kisses. It was more like a peck. Think of it like Marty kissing his mom in Back To The Future. No, I didn’t feel like I was kissing my mom, but I'm blessed and thankful that this wasn't the end of Ashlie and me before we ever had a chance! I'm surprised that I'm still with her. It was that bad!
I texted her immediately, apologizing for the terrible kiss and telling her how great I thought the night was. So it ended up being okay. She texted me that I had restored her faith in dating. After getting that response, I knew I would get a second chance and make that kiss right.
We Were On A Break
Every love story is worth anything, but it has its obstacles. Don't worry; we didn't pull a Ross and Rachel, but our story had a break. To make this paragraph short, we both needed more time to figure things out and were in protective mode. We let a stupid argument result in a few months of going our separate ways. I'm just glad we can laugh at our collective stupidity now. (Insert: As I was rewriting some of this to update it on this blog, Ashlie decided to tell me that the stupidity was not collective. I guess I was the only stupid one.)
During those few months, I had difficulty figuring out where things went wrong. The worst part was that I had been blocked on everything. There was no way to text, call, or social media with her. I don't think I had ever been to her home yet, so that was out also. One of my good friends and co-workers would always bring up Ashlie to me and say things like, "You two had something together" or "I'm not convinced that you two are truly done."
I am so thankful for my friend and her relentlessness. She knew well before I ever did. She wouldn't let it go. She kept encouraging me to reach back out to Ashlie. I wanted to often, but I needed to figure out how.
Greenlight - Go!
The best text message ever!
One random day, I looked at my Facebook Messenger App on my phone. There is always a little green light next to everyone on your friend’s list who can chat. I was shocked to see Ashlie’s name, and that little green light lit up. Wait, does this mean she thought about me? Does this mean she unblocked me?
I remember it being a Friday afternoon, and I was out prospecting and working. I just happened to have gone to lunch with the same friend who wouldn’t let me give up on Ashlie. She told me I needed to find a way to get back in touch with her. I didn’t know how to do this because I knew I had been blocked. However, that afternoon, I just happened to be on Facebook Messenger, and I saw Ashlie’s name with that green light next to it. She was on Messenger, and she was available to chat. This was my chance!
Round 2 FTW!
It seems that everything with Ashlie and me just clicked from the beginning of what we now refer to as Round 2. We were enjoying being together more than ever before. It probably sounds cheesy or sappy to say this, but God knew exactly what he was doing by causing that little break between Round One and Round Two. I’m not sure we would have been ready for each other without it.
Adventure After Adventure
One of my favorite things about Ashlie is that she doesn’t like to sit still for too long. She loves going on adventures, no matter how large or small. The first was a trip to Dallas to see one of her favorite musicals, Waitress. I also took her to her very first LSU game. It rained on us all day, but we had so much fun together! In 2018, we were fortunate to go on one of the most memorable adventures we had ever had when we went to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, to the all-inclusive Hard Rock Casino and Resort. You can read all about that adventure by clicking here.
Falling Falling Falling
When it came to love, we both always said it was essential to show it rather than only tell it. We still believe this to be true. The cool thing is that I can remember when I realized I was in love with Ashlie. I'sIt’s not your typical thing, but I knew it, and it hit me like getting a bucket of cold water poured on me. When you know, then you know!
It was her son Andrew’s sophomore year wrestling state tournament. Andrew had broken his nose fresh out of the gate at this tournament. We all felt terrible for him. He was such a warrior in that tournament. He never gave up and never stopped. They fitted him with this face mask during the first match after the nose break. Ashlie was so worried that he was going to hurt himself even worse. Andrew had such a hard time seeing with that big mask on, and we could tell he was frustrated. Midway through the match, he ripped the face mask off his face and threw it on the ground. I looked over at Ashlie, and she was just in tears. At that moment, I realized I was in love with her. I hated seeing her cry, and it also made me realize how much I love not just Ashlie but all three of her kids.
We didn’t say it to one another until that Valentine’s Day, but it was very soon after the tournament.
They All Said Yes
When we were in Punta Cana, we were on cloud nine the entire time. We joked about getting married. Ashlie's initials right now are - ARG. I told her in Punta Cana that I would marry her one day and make ART out of her.
After the ring was ready, I still hadn't proposed. This was not because I wasn't prepared to marry her but because I wanted to know how I wanted the proposal to be. I needed to move mountains with this proposal. She was worth it, and I did not want to disappoint.
I did rack my brain for the perfect proposal. I would have loved to take us back to Punta Cana to do it, but that's a bit pricey, and we were still in COVID-19 times.
I was completely overthinking it and wanted to include all three kids. Zach, Myla, and Andrew are such a massive part of us that it made perfect sense to do it this way. It seemed ideal to do so.
From the beginning of our relationship, I was so careful about Ashlie's kids. I wanted them to feel comfortable around me, and I wanted it to be natural. I remember Ashlie and me arguing because she would tell me not to worry so much about what the kids thought about something. I couldn't help it. Establishing a trusting relationship with each of them meant everything to me. I am so blessed that God took me by the hand and guided me through building trust with each of them. Everything worked.
Before all of this, I had known that I was going to ask Ashlie to marry me. On that Father's Day, her dad had come to visit. I decided to pull him aside and have a face-to-face conversation, asking for his blessing. His response was perfect. He was so happy and proud to give his blessing. I was floored. He even commented that any man could be a father, but it takes a special, real kind of man to love someone else's kids as if they were his own. I remember feeling so proud that he said that and recognized my love for the kids.
I asked each of the kids for their blessing to marry their mom. Once I got a yes from them, I needed Andrew's help to pull it off. I needed his help, as well as the help of my boss and his wife. I needed all of them to make sure this all happened correctly. Thanks, guys. I appreciate you all!
I had designed some shirts for the kids to wear that said, "We Said Yes!". The plan was to get all three of them to wear the shirt and for me to tell Ashlie that I was going to take her to a nice dinner and pick her up on an actual date. I had made reservations with Jimmy's restaurant inside Margaritaville Casino. This has become one of our favorite places to have a nice meal, mainly because our friend Danny is the manager and never lets us down!
I was going to have Andrew get the kids, put them in his car, and roll up the driveway wearing the shirts with Myla videoing the whole thing and Andrew blasting the Bruno Mars song Marry Me out his stereo. The problem was that Andrew's dad had his keys. So that idea was out.
Also, the shirts came in and were delivered to my house. I had to figure out how to get them to her house for the kids to try on and ensure they fit. Also, they'd be able to have them already there wearing them when I proposed.
I was worried because earlier that day, I was on a virtual call with one of my good friends and co-workers, telling him that today was the day that I would propose to Ashlie. As usual, I was in my home office with my speakers up loud. The next thing I knew, when I was having this conversation, was that Ashlie had decided to randomly stop at my house. This never happens, but today, of all days, it did. I was so scared that she heard my conversation. She swears that she didn't.
I knew that Ashlie and I had an app on our phones called Life 360. This isn't because we don't trust each other. She knew where Andrew was at all times once he started driving. I kept thinking she'd use that app and saw that I was heading out to her house. Then, I got suspicious and figured out that I would propose. I'm not sure why I was so worried about this, but I am terrible at pulling off surprises in the history of Ashlie and me. I was convinced I would botch this one, too.
Andrew was a hero on this day. I called him and tried to figure out the best way to get the shirts to him. I even knew that if I showed up at the house, it would ding Ashlie's phone. Andrew got another set of keys and met me down the road from the house so I could give him the shirts.
I also needed Ashlie to be away from home while this happened, so I needed her to have something to do. That's where my boss and his wife came into play. I asked them to ask her for lunch. This worked out perfectly!
I planned to pick Ashlie up and have the kids wear the shirts already on and be in Andrew's room. Then I would text Andrew, and they'd come out with the same Bruno Mars song, Marry Me, blasting from the speakers with the shirts that read, "We Said Yes!" on them, and then I'd propose.
All was in place, and I was freaking out. I told the kids that their mom came out of her room to blast the song and come out. I also had Myla ready with the video. Poor Zach was the last to know what was happening, but he was a champ and excited.
So Ashlie comes out of her room, and I'm ready to propose, but the kids are still in Andrew's room. I am sweating bullets because all three kids have never been in Andrew's room simultaneously without some drama. So I thought once again that she'd know that something was up. She wasn't even thinking about it. I keep waiting for the music to start and for them to come out. I finally, very sneakily, looked at my phone while Ashlie wasn't paying attention and saw a text message that said, "When do you want us to come out?" I texted back, "NOW!"
The next thing I know, the music starts, and Ashlie is taken aback. She did not know what was going on. She jokes that the first thing that went through her head was, "Why are all my kids hugging each other and smiling at me?"
I got down on one knee and said, "Well, I have three yeses from all of them, and I told you in Punta Cana that I was going to one day make ART out of you. Will you marry me?"
The Most Important YES!
She said yes!
The rest is history. We are so happy and ready to be married! We set a date for April 3, 2021. 4-03-21, how could anyone ever forget that date?
It’s really happening 4-03-21
